Simple Cream of Wheat

This isn't necessarily a fantastic recipe from scratch but my husband has pointed out to me on multiple occasions that it's the best cream of wheat he's ever had and he's never heard of anyone eating it this way. So, as I post how my family has always eaten it, please leave a comment and let me know how you eat yours? Is this really as unique as he makes it seem?

Make Cream of Wheat per directions on box (the recipe will begin with cooked Cream of Wheat)

1. "Plop" hot Cream of Wheat into bowl you intend to eat out of
2. Add 1 tablespoon of butter or margarine 
3. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar or sugar substitute 
4. Add 1/4 cup of milk
5. Stir until not clumpy

And for your personal preference you may want to microwave it a little to warm it back up. But if you're feeding it to kids, it's the perfect temperature.

Please let me know how you eat your Cream of Wheat!

Happy Eating and Drinking!

Where does the time go?

Seriously? Where does it go?

My little boy turned 5 years old yesterday and I'm heartbroken and sick to my stomach all at the same time over it. I don't want him to get older. I just want it to be today forever.

On top of everything else, I have to finish up last minute shopping for his party. STRESSFUL! When people ask "What should I get him?" I just want to answer, "How about you just host the party and that'll do?!?

I'm going to try doing a lego cake in FONDANT. Not just yucky store bought fondant but homemade fondant. Am I crazy? I need this cake. I need this cake to be perfect. Maybe no one else will care about the cake, but it's becoming a personal mission to make it perfect. Josie's cake last year turned out pretty good but I just used regular old buttercream. Fondant is scary. (Sidenote: I'm so tired I just mistyped "scary" 5 times and each time I retyped it I spelled it the same way)

I should be up cleaning right now. Or at least attempt to brush my sweet child's hair, speaking of hair , Malakai needs a haircut before Saturday. Jeez, my to do list never seems to lessen. Every time I get something accomplished I add two on.

Oh the joys of Mommyhood!

PS: Anyone have any tips for a fondant virgin? Send em my way.....PUH-LEASE!


Edited to add photo of actual birthday cake.

testing, testing....1,2,3

Helicopter Mommies

So, I've been labeled. I'm a "Helicopter" Mom. On the Dr. Phil show yesterday it was all about parenting styles, and thus how I got my label.

Apparently, there are lots of different "labels", and I'll go over them later but what bothered me about the whole thing was how because Dr. Phil was a "Free Range" parent he kind of laughed at the "Helicopter" parents. I was, until yesterday, a HUGE fan of the Dr. Phil show. But to be honest, it was  kind of like one of my really good friends making fun of me. So I'm still a little bitter. So here are the style/ labels.

"Helicopter" - Parents that are extremely involved in their children's lives. Drive them to and from places. Don't generally let children go unsupervised.

Quiz - Are you a Helicopter Parent?

"Free-Range" - Parents that let their children make decisions. Parents that trust their children to be alone or go places alone.

I think this is total BS. I don't need to be analyzed and laughed at. I'm a good mom. My kids are happy and healthy. They make decisions. I mean, they may not be "huge" decisions, but they're decisions none the less. My son is 4 years old and he knows that strangers are not his friends. Don't talk to strangers (other than kids his age) unless mommy says it's okay. He knows what to do if someone asks him to get in the car. He knows what he should do if someone grabs him. When we go to heavily populated places I make sure he has my phone number on him somewhere.

I don't really care what anyone else things about me and my parenting style. They didn't get me knocked up and as for my husband, who did get me knocked up.....he knows not to mess with me when it comes to the safety of my children. The way I look at it is, the parents who's children have been kidnapped, molested, murdered or all three, probably wish they would have done things differently. If I always assume it can happen to us and I'm always prepared for it to happen and my kids are always prepared for it to happen, don't we have a better chance of surviving it if it were to happen to us?

My kids are my life and I love them more than my own. I would do anything to make sure they are safe and this includes breaking off my relationship/addiction with the Dr. Phil show.

Wrapped?

So Malakai desperately wanted to play Lego Batman on the XBOX 360. I told him no because we (me, him and Josie) were all watching cartoons and only he would be able to play so it wouldn't be fair to everyone else. We were sitting in the recliner facing the TV and the window. A flock of birds flew by in a perfect "V" formation and I said "Malakai look at those birds" he promptly followed up with "Aww, they're so cute, just like you mommy and you look like a princess. Can I play the game now?" 


Does this mean my son has me wrapped around his little finger? Because it certainly felt that way while Josie and I had to watch him play Lego Batman!

It's that time of year....BACHELOR!

Okay everyone, I'll give you my take on all of these women (or in some cases girls) and who are my top 5 for this season!


Ali - 25, Blonde, Kind of ditzy, scared to fly
Melissa - 25, Dingy is the first word that comes to mind
Alexa - 25, Rides Motor Cycles, Ugly
Tenley - 25, Dancer, Divorced, Really Pretty, Down to Earth
Elizabeth - 29, Works in DC, Ugly
Rozlyn - 28, Model, Sexy, Doesn't seem interested in Jake
Christina -   , Guys girl, kind of a Bitch, brought jelly beans as a consolation prize
Vienna - 23, Calls her dog her "daughter", seems fake and snobby
Michelle -  , When she got out of the limo she pretended to fly
Ashley - 29, Teacher, Pittsburgh, Dressed up a flight attendant
Elizabeth - 29, Dark Hair, Ugly fake boobs, seems sincere
Ella - 29, Mother to 7yo Ethan, Boxing, has cute accent from TN
Gia - 26, Owns hair salon, annoying, seems vain, has long brown hair
Kimberly - 24, NBA Dancer, Brown hair
Emily - 23, Fit Model (what is that?), from WEST CHESTER, OHIO,
Tiana - 31, Nervous about her age, keeps talking about her "future husband"
Caitlyn -  , does pageants
Sheila - , Pilot, Pretty Eyes
Kirsten -  , Said "cut a bitch" and "jillian was stupid"
Jessie - 25, Canada, Said "Do you have a registration for these guns?" (Really?)
Kathryn - 25, Flight Attendant
Corrie - , seems to have the same values as Jake
Valisha -  From TX, Brought soil for Jake as "their common ground"
Channy - 29, Cambodia, Said in Cambodian and then English "You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime" (EWW!)
Ashleigh - , Fell on him before she even said Hello
Stephanie -  , Dance Teacher

My top 5 Favorites
Tenley-She's adorable
Emily-Gotta root for my home town
Kathryn-She was really cute and they have flying in common
Ella-Gotta root for the single mom
Elizabeth-They seemed to click

TMIOF

TOO MUCH INFORMATION ON FACEBOOK


Okay people, really? Do we have to post every little detail of our lives on there? I mean, I like to post just as much as the next person but sometimes when I read other peoples status' it really kind of makes me wonder if I should just hit delete. I have absolutely no urge to hear about invasive medical procedures regarding your anus nor do I need to know what you're doing every 5 seconds. WHEW....this is my rant! (For now) :-)

It's been great....

I can honestly say that I'm going to hate Brian going back to work tomorrow. I've loved spending so much time with him and the kids. We've really had a blast.

Josie is getting in 4 more teeth and it's oh so pleasant to be around her. (Sense the sarcasm?)

How is everything easier just knowing he's here to back me up? I doesn't make any sense to me but I just feel more competent when he's around. (I hope he never reads my blog because all of this would go to his head.)

I can't wait until our vacay in may!

20-10 Resolution!

1.) Be more consistent with my blog. I don't know why I haven't been?!?! I really think I would feel more at peace if I had an outlet of some sort. I guess it's because sometimes my life is REALLY crazy and I'm not so sure I want to put all of that out there on the good 'ole internet.
2.) Be more patient with my children. This one is obvious. Being a SAHM has really worn on my patience. I feel like I'm just their disciplinarian lately and nothing else. I hate that feeling. I love my babies and since my job is to be a SAHM, I'm going to be the best mom I can be.
3.) Not just tell but show my husband how much I love him and try to argue less with him. I love him and he loves me so why isn't that just enough? Why do I always feel the need to be right? I'm so lucky to have him in my life. He's a great husband and an even better dad.
4.) Get every room in the house organized (including closets and totes and boxes)
5.) Pay off our credit cards.
6.) Start some sort of exercise routine and keep with it. (I'm not planning on running for 4 hours 7 days a week or anything. I just need to do something that's healthy for myself.)

Blog Neglect/ Past few months in review

WOW!

So it's Christmas weekend and I haven't written on here since like August...pathetic I know. Anyway, I dropped by my friend's blog and it was so cute and funny and made me feel like I talked to her everyday (when sadly, I don't) but I really need to get back to blogging. I miss it. I like being able to ramble. No one in my family really listens to me on a regular basis so this is the next best thing. And it's pretty darn good. Sadly, not too much has happened. So I'm going to do a monthly review.

September: My birthday was on the 3rd, kind of sad. Got cards from my wonderful husband, kids and MIL but no one else.

October: My grandpa passed away and it was hard to deal with because it's my paternal grandpa and I don't talk to my dad. So I had to physically see him on the 14th. So, because of that my mom got really angry with me and we didn't speak for awhile. When we finally did, it wasn't so good (and I, personally, think it hasn't been the same since.) My baby boy Kameron was due on the 18th. God, it's been hard to deal with the realization that he's not here and he should be. It's a daily struggle.

November: Pretty boring other than Thanksgiving and making up with my mom (again, still isn't the same as before the blow-up) Oh yeah, my brother still isn't speaking to me.

December: My kids are soooo spoiled. Tons and Tons of Christmas presents. I'm kind of mad about Christmas though. We decided to not spend the night at my mom's (TONS of different reasons) but anyway, she decided that coming over as soon as we woke up on Christmas morning just wasn't good enough. So she asked me if she could pick up the kids the day before Christmas Eve. I, of course trying to keep the drama at bay, said "sure". But when she came and picked up the kids she was saying "Oh Josh (my brother that isn't speaking to me), is waiting on a phone call from a guy that he works with to call and he's going to come over dressed as Santa Claus." Did I mention that she didn't invite Brian and I? And When I asked her if she just wanted us to drive up so she didn't have to pick up the kids she said "no, that's okay, I just want to spend time with my grandkids." I hate hate hate arguing with my family. But I also hate feeling this way. I'm hurt and irritated and angry. I feel like I'm alienated from my family. Christmas was SO awkward. Sitting in her family room with Josh on the couch not looking at me or speaking to me. It's stupid. If things aren't better by next year, I'm just not going. Christmas is a season of love and family, not the season to argue and fight and ignore each other. 

My kids had a lovely Christmas. I guess nothing else really matters other than that!

Time, why do I never have enough?

Really?!?! I never seem to have enough time or strength or energy to do anything that I want to get done. And it seems that something I can't control always happens or gets in my way.

Summertime

Brian's birthday celebration went great. It was a little embarrassing telling people that he found out because he checked my email. It made it sound like he's crazy obsessive. Which, of course, he's not. He just knew something was going on and decided to take a little peek.

I'm fighting a yucky summer cold. I hope it passes quickly and without much of the runny nose and watery eyes.

We've got an "end of summer bash" to go to on Saturday. I'm so excited. I won't have either kid, we're spending the night so I don't have to worry about driving all the way home from somewhere I've only been once. I hate to drive anymore. It's weird but ever since I've become a stay at home mom, I really don't like it.

I've got a lot to do today, so I shouldn't really be on the computer updating my blog but hey, I'm taking a sick day. (Kids are still here so it doesn't really count as a sick day but I'm planning on just hanging out on the couch.)

I start watching Baby Sarah on Thursday. YAY! I think it'll somehow help me to have another baby around. I still miss Kameron. Even though I didn't have him and he was never here for me to take care of, it's the planning to take care of him and getting used to the idea of having a third baby and then having it taken away from you. I'm dreading October. On the bright side, I've been contemplating wether or not I believe in God and if I do, what is the reason he took my baby away? If I don't, then it was just a scientific/ biological thing. So it's a catch 22, if I believe in God I'm so mad at him. I love you Kameron. If there is a heaven I know you're there along with Sarah. It's hard to believe it's been a year since we lost her. The world is less bright without her here.

Revamping and birthdays

I've been doing a little blog remodel. I can't seem to find a background I am in love with. So, I settled. I'm not usually a settler but today is the exception. See, I shouldn't even really be on here. I should be up and cleaning my house or baking a cake. Tonight is Brian's birthday dinner. Yummy stuffed pork tenderloin, corn on the cob, home made mashed potatoes with cheddar cheese, red lobster style biscuits. mmmm.....plus birthday cake. How could life get any better? I'll tell you how. If I could keep my house clean. I feel like I do the same thing every single day. Pick up the same toys. Put away the same couch throw pillows and fix the same food for breakfast and lunch wash the same dishes. Any tips on how to break up the monotony of my day would be greatly appreciated!!!

Weekly recap....(i need to just post more often, i know)

Weekly recap.....

It's shark week.

We need to do our fantasy football draft.

Brian's birthday is the 7th. I have to make a dinner for him on the 6th because Malakai won't be here this weekend :( I miss my little boy every minute he's not with me. But his happiness is WAY more important that mine. We're going to Rick's for Brian's birthday friday night. Josie is spending the night with my mom. :( My house feels so empty without them. I'll get up bright and early Saturday morning to go get my little pumpkin.

The rest of the week went like this. Cleaning, cooking, change diaper, eat, bath, nap, let out dog. REPEAT

Brotherly love....

Okay, so my brother and I haven't exactly been talking since like February. I think it's so childish but here's the story. I had a birthday party for my son, Malakai, at our house. I invited my whole family and my husband's whole family. So apparently, when my brother-in-law went to hug me bye my brother got offended. My house was crammed full of people. I had a hard time walking through the hallway. I had to worry about ordering pizza (enough for everyone, toppings, and what time to order it...) Plus here's the real kicker of why I was totally not myself. That's the day we told both of our families we were having another baby. :( (makes me sad to think about that day now) I just want to yell at him. "How can you be so selfish?" It makes no sense to me. I'm going to try to sit down and have and ADULT conversation with him. I hope I don't cry. I always cry. I hate hormones.

Recap

I'm goint to get caught up on everything in one swoop. Since losing the baby, I feel as though each day it's harder to get up. Harder to make myself do things. I'm trying so hard to get through it and be strong. Everyone seems to have gotten over except me. Do people get over it?

Malakai is the sweetest thing ever. He has been so lovable lately. More so than usual. He told Josie tonight that she is the best sister ever. I wish Josie would say "mama" I worry that she's behind on her talking.

My grandpa is getting married Saturday. Gross. The reason it's so gross is that my grandma only passed away 7 months ago. It makes me sad. Part of me thinks that he was with this woman before my grandma passed away. Which makes me sick to my stomach.

Brian and I seem to be fighting a lot lately. It's frustrating! I feel like we can't communicate. Maybe it's more me than him. Because I'm on some sort of emotional roller coaster. I think I'm going to go in for a physical with my general practitioner.

I can't believe it's been 2 months and 2 days since the miscarriage. I want Josie to be a big sister and I want them to be close in age but I just can't wrap my head around being pregnant again. Just as I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of just being "unpregnant" after we lost the baby.

I love you Kameron. May you rest in Jesus' arms.

We got the test results back....

Friday, we had a doctor's appointment for my post D&C checkup. They also ended up having the test results back. I don't think either Brian or I thought they would be in already. First off the baby was a boy. A little brother for my kids. He had Trisomy 21. Which Dr. Brenner said was downs syndrome. She said that 78% of pregnancy where the baby has Trisomy 21 result in miscarriage. While it's good to know that I didn't kill my baby by lifting something that was too heavy or doing too much yard work, I'm still angry. I'm angry at God mostly. I've always been the person to say "God will never give you more than you can handle" I could've handled having him. I would have loved him no differently than I do Malakai or Josilyn. It's not fair. I will always love him and think of him everyday. He's my angel.

Harder

It seems to be harder when it's just me and the kids. With no adults to distract me all I can think about is the baby. I was reading a book today at the mall while sipping coffee and the lady in the book picked out "Cameron" for a baby name. I, out of habit, put my hand on my stomach and instantly felt empty inside. I can't sleep. Brian acts as though he's fine. I don't want him to see me upset. I just want to lay on the floor and kick and scream because it's not fair. I just want my baby back.

Empty arms for Kameron

This is the first of many blogs that I will post about my little angel, Kameron. No one seems to understand how I feel. I try to not let them see me upset. It takes sooo much energy to keep a smile on my face at all times. The only time I cry is in the bath tub with the door locked. I miss being pregnant. I miss sharing my body with my baby. I miss knowing Kameron. I'll never see my baby's face, or wipe tears, or kiss boo boo's. I'll never get a hug or a kiss or and "I love you mom" I know this might sound selfish or mean but it's hard having a miscarriage after you already have children. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But people keep telling me "be strong for the kids" and "at least you have malakai and josie"....because I have them doesn't mean I loved Kameron any less. Sometimes when they do something cute or even not so cute and I've been thinking about the baby, I think "I'll never see Kameron do that" When does the emptyness go away????

AAHHHH!!!

So it's that time of the year again. You know that happy, jolly, merry TIME! Yeah right! I swear that being married with children sucks at Christmas. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and my husband too but for goodness sakes, could he complicate things anymore than he is right now?? Here's the story:
My grandma passed away 3 weeks ago today. My mom is taking it really hard. In all of the years passed I've either lived with her or spent the night Christmas Eve night. So ever since my son has been alive she has shared Christmas morning with him and this is my daughters first Christmas. So my husband thinks it's a great year to take that away from her. I don't think it's because he cares about this whole "tradition" thing like he's letting on, I think it's more of he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings in his family.
I don't even know why I let myself get upset at anything he says. But he says I'm stupid for not wanting to give my kids christmas.....I love my kids. More than life. So why am I letting some stupid thing he said bother me so badly. I mean I do want to stay here Christmas morning but I can't justify in my heart doing that to my mom.