Empty arms for Kameron

This is the first of many blogs that I will post about my little angel, Kameron. No one seems to understand how I feel. I try to not let them see me upset. It takes sooo much energy to keep a smile on my face at all times. The only time I cry is in the bath tub with the door locked. I miss being pregnant. I miss sharing my body with my baby. I miss knowing Kameron. I'll never see my baby's face, or wipe tears, or kiss boo boo's. I'll never get a hug or a kiss or and "I love you mom" I know this might sound selfish or mean but it's hard having a miscarriage after you already have children. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But people keep telling me "be strong for the kids" and "at least you have malakai and josie"....because I have them doesn't mean I loved Kameron any less. Sometimes when they do something cute or even not so cute and I've been thinking about the baby, I think "I'll never see Kameron do that" When does the emptyness go away????